Feelings of sheer bliss.
That’s what I remember when I reflect upon my short beach vacay just a few weeks ago.
What a glorious week that was. Solitude, pen, paper, sun, and surf.
Inspiring me to relax.
Inspiring me to write.
Inspiring me to get some perspective. To take a step back from the busy life overwhelming me, and truly appreciate this gift.
I’d decided to book this little seaside escape out of desperation. Desperation due to all the pressure I’d put on myself this year, which only grew, and grew, and grew. It was suffocating. Truly.
I set out in 2016 to make a huge difference in my career. To climb the corporate ladder so to speak – to set myself up for a new adventure, new responsibilities. Break free from the shackles placed on me in government and truly live up to my potential.
Like everything in life, I threw myself into this adventure with the full force of a tornado, bringing with me all my positive energy and determination to be awesome with a massive never-ending swoosh. Houses. Cows. Cars. All whirred around me while I forged my way down this exciting new path.
My mission objective is always perfection. And I always fail.
Now, that’s not to say I don’t produce some amazing shit – cuz I do. No, my sense of failure is internal. Because I expect more of myself then I’m usually able to deliver.
You can’t reach perfection. It’s impossible – especially for a perfectionist.
But I always strive for it, and consequently always run myself into the ground. Which is exactly what was happening here. So, that adventure didn’t work out for me.
But – it did inspire me to dream big. It set me on my current path and led me to my true calling. To write. To be a creative. To dream big and spread my infectious energy to everything I touched.
To work for myself and determine what my own needs and expectations will be. To stop pandering to everyone else at the expense of me.
This is how I started with Craft.
But it wasn’t long until I fell into the old patterns; I was overcommitting to things and I became overwhelmed.
The weeks leading up to beach vacay were so stressful I felt physically ill… from the pressure I was putting on myself.
Fucked up, right? Why do we insist on doing this to ourselves?
Oh man. I’ve been on quite the emotional and spiritual journey this year! But it’s been awesome. Because it’s taught me how to put these life challenges into perspective.
To be more grateful for the life I have; to recognise and acknowledge my effort in getting here.
I’ve learnt to practice self-compassion.
To quote Elizabeth Gilbert, ‘you are worthy, dear one, regardless of the outcome’. These words brought me back to life again. They brought me my perspective.
This whole time I’ve been going about it all wrong. So eager to live out my idea of ‘success’, I forgot to celebrate my journey through life so far. And let me tell you, it’s been a sweet bloody ride.
- Quitting a 9-5 secure income and rollin’ solo?
- Being responsible for getting your own paycheck?
- Accepting your creative calling and the vulnerability that goes with it?
- Maintaining only positivity, honesty and goodness in every action you take?
This is a huge deal! And fucking kudos to me!
So – for all you trailblazers out there – be kind to yourself and to one another.
We’re all on this beautiful planet living out our own adventure, so keep it real.
You’re amazing. You’re brave. And you’re already a success because you tried.